Reimagined: Flash Funk's Run with WWE
Hindsight is 20/20. It's as accurate in wrestling as it is anywhere else. Things that may have seemed like a good idea at the time can be looked back upon and be seen as a mistake or missed opportunities. The Signature Spot seeks to (hypothetically) right those wrongs in our ongoing series Reimagined.
In this installment, we'll look at the unfortunate WWE run of innovative high flyer 2 Cold Scorpio, who was given the dubious, lame, and vaguely racist makeover as Flash Funk, the pimp-like character, came to the ring accompanied by The Fly Girls/Funkettes. The character was Vince McMahon's creation and was said to be based on funk singer Rick James.
After a brief push, it wasn't long before Flash Funk was relegated to the bottom of the card before reverting to a semblance of his former self, going by "Scorpio." He could have been a big draw. Still, it was a classic blunder from the same people behind characters such as The Goon and Isaac Yankem, DDS.
How would we change history if we booked 2 Cold Scorpio back then?
One brief side notes before we begin: Not all of Flash Funk's problems were the fault of Vince McMahon's poor creative direction. Charles Scaggs, the man behind the Flash Funk/2 Cold Scorpio personas, got himself in hot water following accusations of infidelity and failed drug tests due to his well-documented struggles with illicit drugs. As we proceed with this Reimagining of how we would handle the character and the booking, we are also operating under the notion that Mr. Scaggs has his issues straightened out.
2 Cold Scorpio's story begins in the land of the rising sun, where, thanks to the recommendation of Big Van Vader, he is given a shot with NJPW. He cut his teeth there with other rising stars of the era like Fit Finlay, Jushin "Thunder" Liger, Pegasus Kid (Chris Benoit), and Eddie Guerrero. Not long before he signed a deal with WCW, debuting at 1992's Clash of Champions XXI as the mystery partner of their World Heavyweight Champion, Ron Simmons. He would find tag team gold in WCW with a young, pre-"Buff" Marcus Bagwell. His time in WCW would end in 1994 after failing multiple drug tests.
Luckily for Scorpio, being let go was a blessing in disguise. He worked steadily in Mexico for AAA and back in Japan for NJPW but turned out to be in the right place at the right time when he joined Eastern Championship Wrestling and entered their tournament to crown a new champion. This turned out to be a historic event, as 2 Cold Scorpio lost in the finals to Shane Douglas, who promptly threw the title down and declared himself the inaugural champion of the new Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW). 2 Cold Scorpio fell into his own with the Philadelphia-based promotion and its passionate fans, who appreciated Scorp's innovative, high-flying style. Over the two years, he spent with the company, 2 Cold Scorpio would go on to capture tag team gold with The Sandman and win the ECW World Television Championship four times. When he left ECW for WWE, it appeared he was ready to skyrocket to stardom. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work out that way.
As usual, entering WWE meant a new gimmick, and Vince McMahon had a character ready: Flash Funk, a fur coat and a big hat-wearing funkmaster based loosely on Rick James. Despite the somewhat silly gimmick, Scorpio committed to it entirely—he was bound and determined to get over with fans, no matter what. In fairness, he was given a decent push upon debuting in November 1996. After a few months, however, crowds mainly lost interest. He was eventually allowed to drop the gimmick and wrestle as just "Scorpio" before joining the Al Snow-led J.O.B. Squad and experiencing a brief rise in popularity. Again, it was unfortunately short-lived as well, and Scorpio left the company in January 1999.
Luckily for wrestling fans, despite the ridiculous gimmick of Flash Funk, the in-ring work was still top-notch. He was a great worker saddled with a lame character. So how could it have been handled differently?
Reimagined: Scorpio
First off, letting him wrestle as Scorpio was the right thing to do—it had just been a case of too little, too late. Some tweaks would have been fine, preferably to give him a bit more edge, but for the most part, let Scorpio be Scorpio.
Eliminate the "2 Cold" since there could be an issue with a main eventer named Austin.
After a few easy matches to get his feet wet, bring in a heel to get Scorpio over. We're looking for someone who is already over as a heel, and can work with Scorpio's high-flying, technically sound style.
Enter Owen Hart.
Owen and Scorpio have a working relationship going back to Scorpio's time in Japan, where they were tag team partners when Scorpio made his debut (as Flying Scorpio) in 1991. Like Scorpio, Owen is capable of high flying and incredible on the mat. Owen also can make someone look fantastic. At this point in his career, Owen was riding pretty high as a tag team champion (with the British Bulldog), and two-time Slammy award winner (which he would bring to the ring with him for every match). Owen and Flash Funk wrestled each other in WWE for the first time on 02/17/97 on Raw. The match is quite good. Davey Boy Smith comes out mid-match to dispense of Clarence Mason, Owen's manager at the time, though they were on shaky ground. DBS hangs around to watch the match, and when it starts to look like Flash/Scorpio has a good shot at victory, Smith hits him with one of Owen's Slammies and holds Scorpio's foot down while Owen pins him. This is the perfect setup for a proper, extended program.
Flash Funk (Scorpio) working the arm of Owen Hart from the Feb 17, 1997 edition on Raw. [WWE Network]
When Flash Funk and Owen Hart met up again, it was for the Intercontinental Title on 07/07/97—that gives Owen and Scorpio almost five months to build heat from that first match to the title match. Owen would be more than willing to disrupt Scorpio's matches, although Scorpio would have to pull out enough victories to earn that title shot in July. To Reimagine Scorpio's run in WWE while disrupting other storylines as little as possible (butterfly effect, if you will), Scorpio has to take the "L" in the title match, as the next month, Owen would drop the title to Stone Cold Steve Austin, and the two of them would exchange the title a couple of times. Later on, however, Owen wins the European Title and holds it for a while before dropping it to Triple H. Hunter doesn't need that belt, does he? This is where we would finally award Scorpio some WWE gold, giving him a reign as the European Champion.
In Scorpio's original run, after he dropped the Flash Funk gimmick, he was briefly in a tag team with Terry Funk. If the Reimagined Scorpio was as over as we hoped, teaming with Terry Funk would be a fantastic way to keep him over and through Terry establish a relationship with Mick Foley. With a little of the Mankind/Cactus Jack/Dude Love magic, Scorpio would have the clout to feud with practically anyone in the company.
If you were to ask wrestling fans of a certain age, they could probably tell you the first time they saw 2 Cold Scorpio do a 450 splash. Although he claimed he made a move by accident, seeing it for the first time was incredible.
The fact that he was not a small man (billed at 5'11", 243 lbs) made the move much more impressive. Even with the lame gimmick, the talent possessed by Charles Scaggs is evident. The matches are worth watching, if for no other reason than to see where moves that people today are still using were invented. 2 Cold Scorpio was a true innovator and was vastly underutilized and underrated—which it's been so satisfying to see a late-career resurgence as all the stars he's influenced have sung their praises. At 57, he's still putting on solid matches and finally getting the respect he deserves.
